My grandfather died when I was 14 years old and all that I have from him is his old Pentax Spotmatic. I remember that I experienced a lot of sadness in that time of my life. Nothing attracted me, only the cinema. I was a member of the Cine-club, where every Saturday I saw new and old movies that inspired me with the stories and photography that I saw on the big screen. After I got the camera back from the cleaning expert, I started to ask myself how to express all those sensations of suffering; how to release all those feelings of loneliness that sometimes pursued me in the form and shapes of images, shadows and lights. I took some portraits of my closest teenage friends, for them, because everyone dreamed at that time to be famous.
I met Mercedes thru another friend and when I saw her I had the feeling that she had come from the past, from the past of photography. I created this portrait of her like an old one, like a daguerreotype style, I scratched the negative and I printed on old paper with old fixer to exorcise the idea that she has died and she just coming back from the dead to be photographed by me.
I didn’t go to the funeral of my grandfather, taking this photo it was the best way for me to be close to the idea of death in a photographic sense.
This is the only copy that survives a house fire in Argentina.
Maria Fernanda Hubeaut © Text and Photography.